Motherhood, what I was not prepared for

When I embarked on the roller coaster ride that is Motherhood, I knew that there were many things in my life that would change, and sacrifices would have to be made. I was prepared for the additional expense that comes with the Baba, things like the expensive baby digerie-doos that you are sure you need but never use in the end, the updating of wardrobes every 3 months, the toys that develop all sorts of wonderful cognitive and intelligent ways in your Baba.  I was prepared to give up on my impulsive social life. I accepted that my body was going to change and that I would probably never be able to do another jumping jack again without a little bit of wee coming out.

I also knew that sleep was going to be elusive and something that would come and go. I realised that the perfect night would change from dinner and dancing to just being able to sleep for 12 hours straight.  I anticipated many worried nights checking on breathing and looking after her if she was ill.  I even embraced the cris crossed stretch marks that scatter across my mummy tummy - to a degree.

But in all the books I read preparing me for motherhood, all the preparation I did, not once did I hear or read that I would have to say goodbye to ever seeing the bottom of my laundry basket, ever again.  I swear to God I don't think my washing machine has ever seen as much action as it has in the last 18 months.  It's constant.  Every time I get close to the bottom the clothes decide to mate and produce clothes babies and I am right back where I started.  It is MOUNTAINOUS! I have not once been able to get on top of it in the whole entire time I have been a mother.

So today I morn the loss of an empty laundry basket and embrace the constant and ever present view of my jam packed and overloaded clothes horses and pray every night that my washing machine doesn't just die on me from sheer overwork and under pay....

Week 11; The Result

Life is so busy at the moment.  When I got home from my class I was running around getting food prepared for the next couple of days, combating tantrums and licking my wounds. So I never got round to posting.

I was up 1.5lb. I am not going to lie, I was very disappointed.  I seem to be on a downward tragectery at the moment. Everything feels like it is up in the air with all the travelling I have been doing, and even as I type this, I know that I am just making excuses for myself. I am slowly regaining all that I have worked so hard for and it is frustrating.  When I am away, it's so hard to concentrate on what I am doing with regard to food.  It is all eating out, but, if I am totally honest, I am not making the best choices.  I know that I am so busy with work that I am not eating at the right times so that when it is time to sit down I am ordering the wrong things to fill the gap.  And I am emotional eating too. Which is never a good thing.  Being away from home and my family and the stress that causes is triggering emotional eating.

All of the above are just excuses, excuses, excuses!! I need to get my finger out and really make a fool proof plan for my up and coming trips... What do you think the likelihood is of me getting my jaw wired shut???

Even with all my excuses, there is one thing that hasn't changed, I want this.  I want  to be healthier and feel happier and in control.  I never want my daughter to learn self loathing from me.  I want her to learn that she is gorgeous no matter what size she is, and that as long as she's happy and healthy, then that's OK.

I have the week under control.  My slow cooker is working overtime this week and I love it! Chicken Korma for dinner. Prawns and Quinoa for lunch today.  Zero point soup made and packed with me for snacking on throughout the day and I have lunch prepared for tomorrow.

I am going to move more and eat less and just go back to basics and get this week kickstarted so that I loose what I have gained!

Weigh Day; Week 11

It is weigh day again. I can't believe how quickly the weeks are going by!! It's the end of Week 11 and while I was away, I was getting a little bit disheartened by how I have slowed and my focus feels all over the place the last couple of weeks.  I know that it is mostly down to travelling and not being in my usual routine, and I am very hopeful that the travel is coming to an end, and soon.  But this week is brighter and more positive for a number of reasons.  Firstly, because I do not have to step foot outside the country for the week. Yay me! I get to spend all my time at home with Himself and Herself! It makes me happy.

Because I have not been in the driving seat with my food prep, I have decided that it is best to focus all my energy on my NSV's this week and ignore what the scales says to me. These are my NSV's this week:

1. My wedding rings are swinging around like a pair of bangles on my fingers! Delighted with that. Wonder should I plug for a new bridal set and get the aul eternity ring included?
2. I put on a pair of long boots I wore last winter and there is room in the leg.  Last year, I had to rub vaseline into the zip in order to get it to close easily over my baby cows (calves, you get it?) and when they did close, lets just say I am doubtful about the amount of blood that actually made it down to my toes! I had rings around the top of the baby cows for days after wearing them! 
3. I am feeling so good in myself.  As I mentioned last week, travelling is getting me down a bit.  Before I started this journey I would have spiraled into a bleak and horrible mood and just eaten everything in front of me, and behind me, and beside me, heck, if you stood still long enough I would probably have taken a lump out of you too! 
4. I can move further for longer and faster than I have ever been able to do. This makes me happy! 

Regardless of what the scales tells me, I know I am making lasting and happy changes in myself.

Thought for Today is: 

Kindness to ourselves is the only way we are going to complete this journey successfully. 

This weeks stats include: 

Not bad going so far is it? I'm 20k steps off my goal for this week, but there is time to make some of that deficit up before bed today! 

Finally, some of my meals this week: 

My new slow cooker is my favourite new toy! It has produced Mozzarella Stuffed Meatballs and Pork Goulash. They were both amazing!! My Homemade Granloa is an amazing breakfast or just as added crunch to a 0% fat greek yougart!! 

Here's to a happy week this week and, hopefully, a more successful scales week next week!! 

London Bound.... again

Yes! For the third time in as many weeks I am bound for London. The novelty of this travelling has well and truly worn off. Apart from hating the airport wait, my Dolly punishes me something cruel when I return to her. Last week, after three days away from her, myself and Himself went to pick her up from creche. In I walked, fully prepared for the onslaught of her aggressive brand of toddler love, only to be completely side stepped and ignored in favour of himself. The little rip wouldn't even come to me. It cut me deep!

The following morning, selflessly foregoing my Saturday lie on to spend some quality time with my Dolly, she had a stage three tantrum because I wasn't her bloody Daddy. So, in what was most definitely not a proud parenting moment, I resorted to bribery with food...

Then last night, while she was upset and needing comfort,  for the first time in her 18 months on this earth, she rejected my ample bosom - which is perfect for a little head to cuddle into, in favour of Himself 's hard and bosom - less man chest. Disgusted doesn't even cover it. I left them to it and had a little cry into my chamomile tea and crochet needle.

This working away malarkey is playing havoc with my position as my Dolly 's favourite person. It's not on at all. The only thing for it is to purchase her love and affection... I'll need a bigger suitcase coming home so that I can fit all the useless crap I'm gonna buy her to secure myself as top dog in her affection leagues.  Thankfully this is the last trip for a couple of weeks so I'm sure I'll have recovered well from the next round of rejection and punishment by then.  Anyone who thinks toddlers don't know what they are doing, needs to spend a of couple hours with mine to learn a thing or two! Lovely little rip that she is!!!

Weigh Day, Week 10; The Result

I'm not skipping home let me tell you. I am up 1lb this week.  I knew that It wasn't going to be great, and it could have been a lot worse! I am taking the gain and dusting myself off and carrying on into next week.

This travelling to London is just playing havoc with the scales for me.  The travelling and my inability to say no to a night out. But mostly the travelling, because I figure if I wasn't travelling, I wouldn't have the opportunity to dance my socks off till 4am of a Thursday morning!

I am going to focus on all the NSV's this week and next week to get me over the hurdle of the travelling I need to do.  I measured myself when I started this process, and again at 4 weeks into it.  Last night, knowing that the scales was going to be brutal to me, I measured again, just to remind myself that there is more to weight loss than just the number on the scales.  I discovered that since my last measure 4 weeks ago, I have achieved this:

So even though the scales is not telling me what i want to hear, the inches on that measuring tape is making up for it. My total inch loss in the last 10 weeks is:

Bust: 1.5 inches
Waist: 1 inch
Hips: 1 inch
Thighs: 1.5inches
Arms: 1.5 inches

That's not really to be sniffed at.

I am going in to this week with a battle plan.  I will be back in London Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so I need to be as prepared as possible for the week ahead.

Himself bought me a lovely present yesterday. He bought me a slow cooker and I am dying to get home and get trying it!  Who says romance is dead eh? It may not sparkle, or fit on a finger or around a neck, but it made me very happy... anyone with some good slow cooker recipes to share, please send them on in and I will get cracking on them!