Thursday, 6 March 2014

Week 35 nearly done

The finishing line is in sight!  There are 4 weeks and 2 days left and I am counting them down!!!

My knitting project is going well... I have actually completed my first ever blanket. It's not a very big one, but I made it and I am delighted! I even crocheted the edges of the blanket too... T'internet is amazing. You can literally learn anything on it!! Here is the completed product. I am now currently trying to crotchet a hat.. it's not going well.


So as I approach the end and my belly is getting bigger and bigger I decided that I would help the general public in dealing with the pregnant ladies by putting together 5 things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman...

Here goes:

5. Was it planned? How long were you trying

What on earth do you want to know that for? You have  basically just asked me if I was having sex and, if so, how long was I having sex for.  It is the equivalent of me saying to you, Did you have sex this week? Was it any use? No normal person would ask that question so it is beyond me why someone would ask it to a pregnant lady. Especially one they barely know / just met in the supermarket.

4. Your in for a big shock / going to have your hands full

Whether your a first time mum or this is baby number 2 / 3 / 20, this is such an annoying thing to have said. I am a first time mum. I am aware that things are going to change. I am not an idiot. I know that my sleep is going to be disrupted and that the freedom I have been accustomed too for the last 31 years is about to be replaced by having to think of someone else.  But, I didn't make it to the grand age of 31 without getting pregnant, by accident.  I know a baby changes things, that's why I've spent the last number of years living it up, enjoying myself, hungover, going on holidays and doing all the things I want to do.  Now that I am about to be a mum, I have made the decision to make those changes so I think I should be OK with the shock, but just in case I do go into shock, why don't you make yourself useful and bring me some medicinal brandy...

3. Labour horror stories

I really don't understand why women feel the need to frighten the be-jaysus out of pregnant women with their labour horror stories.  Since I got pregnant I have had people tell me some humdingers.  There was this one woman and every time I saw her she had a horrible story to tell me.  It actually got to the point that I told her from now on, when she sees me, unless she has something nice to say to me, she's to say nothing to me at all.  I don't want to hear about how her organs were being shifted about the place during her C Section (like what? Did they go in through her mouth or something?) Or how I could end up having the baby in the car on the way to the hospital - I live 30 mins from it, I think I'm safe! People shoudl keep their war stories to themselves until the mum has a story of her own to share!

2. Your huge / other weight gain related comments

As the  grower of this human, I am perfectly aware of my expanding body parts. There is no reason for you to draw extra attention to this.  Some of the most body confident of women struggle with their changing shape during pregnancy. I, not being one of the most body confident of women, have definitely struggled. I am aware it is all in the name of growing this little person, but I still don't need comments from people about the size of me. I am aware, sure aren't I the one that takes 5 minutes to get off the couch these days! Just standing up is a work out in itself!

1. Are you sure there's only one in there

I think that, given the advancement of technology and experience of the medical team I have seen every four weeks for the last 35 weeks, its safe to say that yes, there is only one in there.  Instances of surprise multiple births have fallen dramatically in recent years. So if I haven't announced to you that I am having twins / triplets / quintuplets at this stage, you are telling me that I look like I am having more than one. See number 2 above.

Now, if you are interested in gaining brownie points and kisses from the pregnant woman in your life, here are 3 things you should definitely say:

3. Your glowing

Even if its only a glow from the sheen of sweat on her upper lip, caused by her trying to get up the stairs, say it and she'll love you forever. .

2. Pregnancy suits you

This is a lovely thing to say. Telling a pregnant woman it suits her and she carries it well will give her a pep in her step that will get her through the day. As I said, the most body confident of women struggle at some point or other with their changing shape during pregnancy. Growing a whole human is hard work. Compliments like these are so lovely to receive, damn sight nicer than 'are you sure there's only one in there'

1. From the back you wouldn't even know you were pregnant

Say this to a pregnant lady and you will be showered with kisses and hugs for the day.Sweeter words have never been uttered than these 10 words!

Why not find yourself a preggo today and try it out on her!!!