Weigh Day - The Result Week 9

Good Lord I don't know where the evening went yesterday, but it skidded by me at a thousand miles an hour and I never got around to posting! 

So I went back to my class last night after my week of MIA.  It took me until Thursday to get back into the swing of things and get working on some damage control after my Old School Boozy Weekend.  And thank God I did, because I stayed the same this week! Yay.  I really knew that if I had gone to class last Monday after my hectic weekend and gained, it would have thrown me right off.  Throughout the earlier part of the week I was full sure that I was starting to loose all focus, but a swift kick up the jacksie got me moving again.  

I have posted the above because sometimes I need to remind myself to be happy, and also, when I am happy, remind myself to tell my face, because it doesn't always receive the message!  Yesterday was spent basically preparing my family for me to leave them for three days, return for two days and leave them for a further three days.  Travelling back and forward to London is starting to take its toll on my patience.  I have gone from a stay at home Mama, to a part time working Mama to a Mama that seems to leave the country every two weeks, and I'm not loving it.  Sure, the uninterrupted sleeps are amazing.  And it is nice to be able to sit and eat a meal without fear of it being thrown all over me (well, fear of someone else throwing it all over me, I have a tendency to be a bit of a sloppy eater).  And there is a lot to be said for the comfort of going to the loo without "what's that" being shouted at my lady garden. The thing is, motherhood wasn't unexpectedly gifted to me.  It was a gift I went out looking for. It is a gift that I really really wanted, so fecking off for three days a week a couple of times a month is not giving me a chance to want to be away from that gift, ya know what I'm saying?  The novelty of no Dolly has well and truly worn off.  All of these thoughts made me very sad yesterday.  I actually felt like crying. I went to bed with a cup of tea and had a little pity party for myself. 

I got up this morning bright as a button though, full of positivity and ready for the week ahead and the challenges it will present.  I am prepared and have a plan in place for what's going to happen next week and I have my moving goals and weightloss goals set.  I am aiming for 2lb next week so I have got to get a wriggle on! 

Here's to a good week to everyone! Enjoy 

Motivation - That Fickle Little Rip

I have been thinking about how motivated I had been over the last nine weeks. Everything had clicked into place and I was powering through the weight loss without a struggle to be seen.  I was moving more and more every day and feeling on top of the world about myself, how I look, what I was doing and how committed I was (am). But then last week came along and old habits, that I have worked very hard to change, began creeping back in.  Too tired to move, too busy to cook, too..... (insert excuse here). Suddenly, all mojo has up and left me and I am happy to sit on the couch, or ignore the early morning call to get a few extra steps in.  The baby is not well, sure no time to cook. Busy busy busy.

I promised myself that I would not allow my excuses to hold me back this time.  I swore that I would be bigger than any excuse I could muster up and that I would not stand in my own way again. Thankfully, my lack of motivation hasn't last this whole entire week, and I am feeling on top of it all again.  I have also noticed that even though I have gone off track, I'm not killing myself with unkindness.  Instead I am looking at the bigger picture of this journey I am on, and I am allowing myself a couple of stumbles along the way in order to make it there in one piece (mentally and physically).  And I think the reason that I haven't spiraled out of control is because I am working so very hard on how I perceive myself and the things I think and say to myself.

So here's a couple of things that have helped me get myself back to where I need to be...

Photos I am a snap happy person.  I used to be called Tagger O'Toole, but then I got married, changed my name and had a baby so I was less likely to be out in the pub at 1am taking snaps of all the shenanigans and more likely to be walking the floors using my phone as a flash light so I could see what I was doing without actually turning on the lights and fully waking the baby!  But, back in my Tagger days, I have hundreds and hundreds of photos of myself that are absolutely not flattering in any shape or form. I see these photos now and marvel at how the girl on print never matched the one in my head... This week, I got a pop up of a memory on Facebook, which was a photo of me from 2009.  Apparently back then I not only needed to loose a lot of weight, it also would have been useful to introduce me to a decent hair straightener, some moose and a make up lesson or two... but that's not the point.  The point is, when I saw that picture I realised that I have actually come a very long way from the girl I was, not just physically, but mentally too. Comparing a then and now made me very protective of the weight I have lost and made me excited about getting to where I need to be.

Keep a Diary. Not just a food journal.  When I came back to weight watchers, I made myself a couple of promises, and one of them was to track my food and to write a diary about my day. And that's what I have been doing. Every day (or most anyway) I write a plan for the following day, what food I'm  going to eat and what exercise I am going to do and then leave a space for how it went and how I felt. It's been helpful to look back on this information.

Get adventurous. It can be so boring loosing weight.  I find that I get a couple of recipes going and then I end up just sticking with them. Then I get bored and I make bad choices. When I'm feeling demotivated I get my books out, I go on line and make myself try at least one new dish a week.

Check your thoughts. I know, I go on and on about the power of Positive Thinking. But it really works.  I was recently out with my best friend who told me that the transformation in me over the last couple of weeks is amazing.  I am less stressed, less likely to be bogged down in the little things and so much happier than I have been in a long time.  I didn't even know that I was that unhappy until I started to feel this happy!

This journey is a long one. And it can be a lonely one, particularly if you are to beat yourself up and treat yourself unkindly along the way. Find a reason to be proud of yourself every day and keep trying until that motivation kicks back in for you.  No matter how big a cheerleading squad you have standing behind you, the support you give yourself is the really the only thing that will make sure you succeed.

Birthday's, Benders and Babies

Let's start from the beginning...

After a couple of days in Lovely London, I came home to my wonderful Little Aussie and her Mum and Aunt visiting. So, being the hospitable person I am, I invited them all over for a bit of dinner and a sociable drinkie-pooh. And by sociable, I mean very sociable. I absolutely took advantage of Super Valu's 3 bottles of french wine for €25, in fact, not only did I take advantage of it, I abused the bejaysus out of it.  By all rights, I should have been curled up in the fetal position begging for a Priest to give me my last rights on Saturday morning, but I wasn't. I got up bright as a lark and  thirsty as desert dweller, but I made soup and porridge bread (which I must have made wrong cause it was rank) and I made a lovely dinner for that evening, to provide soakage for round 2.  Yes, you heard me correctly, round 2.  Before going out on Saturday evening I did a bit of shopping and bought a pair of jeans one size smaller than usual. I  didn't end up wearing them out though until round 3... For round 2, I slipped on a pair of mint green skinny jeans.  These jeans are super significant. The last time I wore these I wasn't even a married woman! Oh no. They were purchased for wearing the night before I became a wife. And not only did they zip, they fit! I felt amazing. And so happy with myself for all my hard work.

Here I am looking very pleased with myself!

And, not only was I in pre-wedding jeans, I was in pre-pregnancy shoes too!! I have loads of lovely shoes that do not fit since I got pregnant, but apparently I am getting skinny feet as well as cheek bones! 

I headed off out into the night with my girlies and I had an absolute ball for myself. I didn't rock in until 4am. I danced the feet and legs off myself, accumulating 5,888 steps between 12am and 4am - impressive footwork for sure! And once again, I fully expected to be pleading for death by firing squad when I woke up, but I was grand! Which was great, cause I had to get ready for round 3... And round three was a scream! Out for the Dubs, well, I won't say that I was out FOR the Dubs, cause anyone who knows me knows I could care less about football and all that business, but I was out because of the Dubs and had another kicking night. With no hangover! So apparently, turning 33 means no hangovers, hurray! 

Because of this PMA and bag of aura cleansing material I am carrying around with me these days, my three day bender did not leave me with a bad dose of the Fear and a mountain of negative thoughts! Instead, I took my crazy weekend for what it was, a once off blow out, I dusted myself down and fell asleep on the couch on Monday evening, like the Nana I truly am, before heading to bed at 8am to sleep soundly for a good 12 hour stretch. Refreshed and ready to make it to a weight watchers class Tuesday evening.

But alas, it was not too be! Because Tuesday was spent nursing a very very sick little baby. One that had lots of high temps and needed lots of cuddles and comfort and antibiotics and nurofen and water and just anything at all to relieve her pain and discomfort. My Dolly has tonsillitis again. The poor little divil spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday pretty much curled up on my lap. No more partying... instead it was preparing bags in case we had to go to the hospital with her and trying to get her temps under control.. See why high jinx and baba's don't mix!

Holly's Bed Time Bed Fellows 

Birthday's aren't the same as the were pre-baba days - not that my liver would agree with you after the weekend I had. It was such a stressful couple of days with my poor sick girl that I didn't really think too much about the day itself. Until I was given a birthday present to beat all birthday presents.  Himself was very good this year, really out did himself by giving me my very own designer baby that is to be kept very far away from the real baby...

The celebrations are over, my mojo is back, I'm moving again and tracking again and I am going to make up for lost time this week with loads of soups and low point meals. I am looking forward to my weigh day on Monday.

This is me at 6.30am this morning after sweating the face off myself for 40 mins! 

Operation Skinny Bitch is back in action after a brief hiatus! 

Weigh Day: Week 5 - Travelling Mama, Walking for Weight Loss and Terrible Tantrums

It's the end of Week 5 of Operation Skinny Bitch and it has gone relatively well.  The mobile stats look good, but I am not entirely sure the output will negate the input, if you get my meaning!!

Being away from home for the four days was difficult. For all my chat and excitement for my baby free time, it was not easy to spend so much time away from her and Himself and I was so excited to get back in to their loving embrace, that was until my little Dolly decided that she would punish me for her abandonment by launching into a level five tantrum that shook the house to its very foundations.  Hell hath no fury like a toddler who cannot wear her leggings on her arms, let me tell you that! For a full 35 minutes she lay on the floor and howled like she was being murdered. I must admit, I admire her dedication and commitment to her cause and it gives me great hopes for a bright and successful career in the future. But my goodness; it was a sight to behold.  By the end of the 35 minutes, she pulled her tear stained, sweaty little head off the floor, crawled up into my lap and lay on my shoulder rubbing my face saying "sssh sssh sssh". We were exhausted, mildly traumatised and relived that the (many) moment(s) had passed.  She returned to her loving little self and was all smiles and hugs and kisses from then on... while the fear of a repeat performance mounted in the pit of my stomach at the thought of having to change her bum! That was my punishment for being a Travelling Mama...

Here's hoping a frustrated drama queen is the only punishment I will receive for my break from the norm! I have asked my WW Leader to talk extra nice to her scales.  I was quiet good, but definitely had a little more than a tiple or two! I didn't go wild, like usual, but I am definitely not as confident about tonight's weigh in as I have been in previous weeks.  I am going for my silver seven. I need to loose 0.5lb to achieve this. It's so hard to have confidence in your choices when you have no control over what is going into them.  Eating out a lot is difficult. I did make some very good choices, I also made some not so good ones too - Doritos, I'm looking at you... but for the most part I kept breakfasts to fruit and yogurts and lunches to salads without the dressings so that I could be a bit more relaxed about my dinner and enjoy a glass of two of wine.

But I walked! I moved and I move and I moved. I set my self a goal of 81k steps by bed time tonight. I have 11,212 steps to go to make this goal. That's not a bad achievement if I do say so myself.

It's easy to rack up the steps in London. You practically walk everywhere, except the first day when your sense of direction fails you and you end up getting the tube to the next stop. It took longer to get down into the tube station, buy a ticket, wait for the tube, get on it, get off it and go back up to the street than it would have if I had walked, but I didn't know where I was going and looked like a fool walking up and down the road afraid to commit to a direction!!! 

Here's my stats so far this week... It's hard not to feel a little bit confident that I will achieve my goal when I look at them, but I am afraid to get cocky... 

Week 6 is about to start. Every week my confidence in myself grows and grows. And with that, so does my pride in myself.  I have made the decision to change my life, and I am not using excuses to stop me from doing this. My mantra again this week; the scales is not a true reflection of the effort I have put in.

All the same, if  you could send a few feather light thoughts my way I'd be ever so grateful!!! 

The POA for my PMA - Keeping Her Lit Week

As I previously mentioned, this is Throw in the Towel and get a Snickers Week, in my usual weight loss journey.  At this stage the last time I went back to weight watchers, I ran from the scales crying and snoting and in an awful negative place.  Granted, I was full of postpartum hormones and had only pushed a tiny human out of a tinier hole about 12 weeks before the crying and snotting and running and I had to quit.  My wonderful WW Leader reminded me last night of an email I sent her saying how trying to regain control of myself by being in weight watchers at that particular time was having an incredibly negative impact on me, and I would have to leave it for the time being. And leave it I did. I retreated into a happy lovely little bubble of myself, Himself and Herself. Sure I was delighted in my little life, still wearing my maternity jeans (because lets face it, they are just so comfortable!).

It makes me very sad reading back on some of those posts from that time.  I was very hard on myself, and if a new Mama came to me right now and said half of what I said to myself, I would give her a swift (but gentle, very gentle) kick in the backside and tell her to sit down and mind herself and her baby and have a little bit of what she fancied. Sure isn't she after growing a whole human all by herself. That's something to be incredibly proud of!

Anyway, I totally digress here! The purpose of this post is to discuss tactics!!! Tactics to protect my losses! I need to hire Fat Protectors who are going to guard me from my lost 4lb, in case they are a bit like homing pigeons and make their way back to me! I am heading to see my family in Donegal this weekend.  This means wine (yay!) and good company and happiness (more yay!).  So my plan is a simple one - sit in a corner and be a miserable moo for the weekend!

Ah not really! I am aiming for 81k steps this week.  And I have gotten off to a wonderful start! I was up at 6am this morning jumping around the sitting room for a bit of a HIT workout. Had to check what that meant when I first read it, it's High Intensity Training. Jesus I was a mess after it. Talk about making my fat cry (sweat). My goodness, I was sweating behind my ears after it! So while I was buckleaping around the sitting room, and my lovely family were snoring their heads off, I racked up at good 3k steps and it got me going for the day.  My whole mood lifted - I'm not a great morning person! I was bouncing around and I have kept it up all day with making sure I move for at least 10 minutes in every hour. This is what I've achieved so far today:

Pretty happy with that!

I am thinking that a mixture of aerobic and resistance training and keeping them steps up at around the 12k mark every day this week will ensure that I minimise the damage that could be caused at the weekend.

If anyone has any tips at all on making sure my weekend doesn't blow my whole week, please feel free to share!!!

I am looking forward to weigh day next week, when Week 4 officially gets renamed at Keeping Her Lit Week!!

Bye bye Baby

It's been an emotional couple of days. I am officially no longer a Mama to a baby. I have graduated to Mama of a toddler.  I could hold off on labeling her that until she started to walk... but the time has come. Yes, my little Dolly has started taking her first tentative steps independently. She's getting so brave that she actually let go of my hand herself yesterday evening and wobbled off. I was overcome with the desire to cheer and sob uncontrollably, all at once. I went with cheering.

It's also been emotional because today marks her first official day in creche. I left her for two hours last week and the little rip didn't even flinch when I said goodbye to her. Had a great time for herself and didn't want to come home. She actually screeched and shook her head when I said "come on let's go". But this morning she broke my heart! As I was leaving her she started to cry. The only time she ever says Mama is when she's crying so her parting gift to me was a big fat wobbly lip and a howled and pained cry of MaaaaaMmmmmmaaaaaaaa.

I am currently sitting at the kitchen table fighting the urge to go check on her. The rational part of me knows that all that stopped within five minutes of my leaving.  The unrational side is planning on handing in my notice before I even get my start date and staying with her forever and ever amen... I am glad I am not prone to overreacting.

The third and final reason it's been emotional is that I have finally accepted that seeing as my baby is now a toddler, I can no longer be claiming to be still carrying baby weight. I must acknowledge that I am just carrying weight and putting the word baby in front of it doesn't make it cute! It is time.... as I sat on my couch on Saturday night rubbing the food baby that was growing in my tummy I realised there's only one thing for it.... surgery

Ah no,  that's a bit drastic... gonna head on back to my local weight watchers and give it all another good solid bash!

7 Questions you should ask yourself at the end of every day

Earlier today I was reading an article on www.huffingtonpost.com about the seven questions we should ask ourselves at the end of every day. Here goes:

What did I learn today?

Today I  learnt two things; 

There is nothing quiet like a bum shuffling, no shoe wearing toddler to highlight just how clean your floors aren't.  My lovely little Dolly has a streak of not so white where she shuffles along the floor. Perhaps I should make more out of that investment in the Vax Steam mop which was made earlier in the year. Can I say that I am building her immune system?

I was already mildly aware of this, but when I have studying to do I can procrastinate like no bodies business.  In the hour my Dolly was having her afternoon nap I made pancakes for her to have for a snack, marinaded sliced up pieces of steak for an elaborate steak sandwich for our dinner and contemplated cleaning out the "mess press" in the kitchen that contains recipes, nail varnish, hen party bunny ears and who knows what other array of crap.

How do I feel?

I feel happy with a dull ache of anxiety at having procrastinated so much while my little Dolly was in bed this afternoon. Really should have made more of an effort to do that studying... 

How did I make others feel today?

Well now, to be fair, I haven't really asked anyone I dealt with but my guess is amazing. Yep. I reckon everyone that has encountered my happy face today feels amazing. What can I say, I am a ray of sunshine on a permanent basis.  I have spent time with two friends, a husband, three toddlers and new-ish born and spoke to a lady in Meteor customer care and I am positive that if you were to speak to any of the above they would confirm how amazing they felt in my presence.

What can I do better tomorrow?

I could probably make a bigger effort with the studying malarkay. And definitely try and make a dent on my odd job to do list (uh-oh... I sense some more procrastination, is that a fridge freezer that needs defrosting??)

What am I grateful for? 

I am grateful for a lot. My health, my husbands health, my daughters health, the friends and family that have been so amazing to me, especially since I became a mother and realised how important they all are, the sun (cause I'll get the feckin washing dry), having a cup of tea from start to finish with no interruptions this afternoon, calpol and nurofen. I have a lot to be very thankful for and I am always a "count your blessings" kind of gal.

How much stress did I experience today?

Considering I am parent to a "wobbler" (a toddler that's learning to walk, and boy oh boy is she a wobbler) I haven't experienced a lot of stress today. We had a dodgy moment when she had a fight with a bag that wouldn't open, but apart from that we were nice and relaxed today.

What made me smile?

Finishing that cup of tea. Seeing my Dolly playing with the other toddlers. Seeing my friends and having a go of the new-ish born baby. He did cause my womb to give a little thud of desire for another tenant, but then my Dolly start whinging at me and that silenced it.

So that was my day. Apparently, asking these questions every day will help us all to be more positive and optimistic and sure we could all do with a little more positivity and optimism in our lives right? 

May 22nd 2015, a day for the Irish History Books

On the 22nd May, we get to go out and make history.  Our generation gets the opportunity to change a law in this country that will have an amazingly positive effect on so many people who live here.  It is a date that will go down as one of our greatest achievements as a Nation.  We live in a country that is going through so much change, a lot of which we, as an electorate, have little or no control over. But, on the 22nd May, we have the power to make a positive change for so many people and, most importantly to me, our children!

Voting yes to equality for marriage shows that we no longer see homosexuality as "different".  It means that everyone, no matter who you love, gets to stand up in front of all their friends and family and commit to that love until death do they part.  The day I got married was the second happiest day of my life, pipped only by the day we brought our daughter into the world.  Why on earth shouldn't everyone, every last person in this country, have the right to do that if they wish?

I have seen some of the "No Side" posters, one of which says "don't redefine marriage".  But I think this referendum shows that for some, marriage does need to be redefined.  It is the perfect time for those of us born with the right to marry who we want to stop, take a good long look and appreciate what a privilege it is to posses this right.  It is a privilege that my husband got down on one knee and and said the words "will you marry me".  It was one of the most beautiful sentences that has ever been uttered to me.  I am pretty sure the words "will you civil partnership me" has a far less romantic re-tell value... I didn't have to fight for the right to commit to my husband.  No one had to hold a referendum for me to do it.  I didn't have to sit and wait impatiently for news that a law has been passed condoning our love and commitment to one another.  This debate makes me appreciate how easy it was for us, and makes me realise how much I want it to be that easy for everyone.  Maybe redefining how those of us with the right to marry see marriage will make people more respectful of it?

Since having my daughter, these issues have become so much more important to me.  Equality for all is the most important thing to me now.  Who's to say that my little girl is not going to fall in love with someone else's little girl?  Does that mean that we, as parents, should be robbed of the pride of walking her down an aisle and giving her away to that love?  I want my children, however many I am blessed with, to know that it is ok to be who you are.  I don't want them to hide from themselves.  I want them to embrace it.  And, if they do love the same sex, I want them to have the same rights they would have if they loved the opposite sex.

Love is love. Let's all get out on the 22nd May and vote Yes! Let's be part of a positive change in this country.  One we can stand up and be proud of.  One that our kids and every other generation afterwards can be grateful for.

As Macklemore and Ryan Lewis once said " No Freedom till we are all equal"...

Thought for Today

Good woman Pink!! Weight loss and gain is such a personal thing. There's more to it than just eating too much or not enough and moving more or not at all. I think we all need to focus more on happiness and health than the size on our dress labels!

Thought for Today

I saw this and I thought sometimes we need a little reminder that it is ok to have a Pile of Pants day where we are balancing on a ball of crap trying very hard not to tumble into it!!!

Take some time to show yourself the kindness you would always show to others!

365 days and counting

Here we are, 365 days since The Big Push. I have spent this whole day with half my mind in the past and the other half in the present! It has been a surreal day. I can't believe it has been a year since my beautiful Holly Dolly came into this world. And yet, I sort of can...

We had a lovely day. She had a little birthday party last week with both our families and then today we headed off for a family day in the zoo where I could watch her amazing reactions at the different animals and still think of how I felt as I lay in the hospital bed amazed that we had made this little tiny human. Then she start to whinge like nobody's business and the magic was gone - isn't that always the way with children?!!

So, with all that in mind, I have also been thinking about everything I have learned in the last year and the things I wish someone would have told me before I had a baby...

1. You will not automatically feel like yourself after having the baby. As much as you can't wait to be your 'old self', it's not going to happen for a long long long long long time. I wish I had have known that and not put myself under pressure to look like my old self and act like my old self before my body and mind was ready. 
2. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. It took 10 weeks to get herself into a routine. Before that it was mayhem. 
3. New babies need to cry for four hours a day. You may be lucky and get a considerate tiny human that will break those four hours up over the day. We were not. In the early days she did some crying but saved up the majority of her four hours for 6pm. Then she would open her mouth, take a big deep breath and wail until 10pm. And when you don't know, you feed her. And then she does the grandest impression of the exorcist and you and your partner throw daggers at each other because you need to blame someone. 
4. You feel like you will never forget the bad patch your in. But you do. Until the next time your in it and think, 'eh, what did we do the last time'. Then you remember when it all calms down that these patches are about a three week cycle. But you forget that as well, until the end of the next one.
5. You know when they say it is clever to stock up on the baby essentials while pregnant? Things like nappies for the different stages, sudo cream and wipes etc. Well, throw boxes and boxes and boxes of Fairy washing powder on your essential list. Why? Because no one ever ever warns you about the washing. In 12 months I have never seen the bottom of my wash basket. Ever. I mean I am pretty sure my lovely top that has mysteriously vanished is at the bottom of that basket being used by some micro-organisims as a colony from which they are planning to take over the world... Gross, I know. 
6. Pooh becomes an acceptable thing for you to discuss. I remember working with a girl and every time we sat down to lunch she would go into great details about the contents of her childrens nappies. It would put me right off whatever I was about to sink my teeth into and I would get hangry (hunger induced anger) and hate her. Apparently, she isn't a weirdo. It is what mothers do. At least this mother has the decency not to discuss it over lunch... 
7. You may never fit into your old shoes again... It is twelve months on and I still don't fit into all my lovely size 4 shoes. I look at my pretty shoes that I used to love and I grieve their loss.
8. When you are told "oh my baby slept through the night from (some ridiculously young age)", ask them the qualify that. Ask them how many nights. I bet you anything they didn't sleep seven nights a week. This question will stop you feeling inadequate and googling the life out of sleep training.
9. No one talks about the difficult recovery side of child birth. Like how I felt like I had been  turned inside out and scrubbed with a scour brush. No one told me that would happen. Also, no one told me how delicate my "down theres" would feel afterwards. I remember walking through a shopping center and actually thinking everything was going to fall off onto the floor and I would have to scoop it all up and have it reattached. I nearly wanted to walk about with a cooler with me, in case it did fall off and I had to treat it like a chopped off finger and fling it on a bit of ice to keep it from going bad so it could be reattached.
10. Ask for help. All kinds of help. Allow people to sit with you when things are new and just be there when your doing what you have to do. It makes you feel so much better. I had my mum, my mother in law and my best friend on speed dial for weeks. I would ring them about EVERYTHING and sometimes I would just ring and sob incoherently down the phone and say thanks at the end of the call. Even though they didn't understand I single thing I said!
11. You will never know a love like it. It changes everything. 
12. It's ok to be happy to leave them. A break is good for you and good for the baby. Don't feel guilty if you don't fell guilty when you leave them! 
13. Get bibs... lots and lots and lots of bibs. Millions of them.
14. The clocks changing ruin your life.
15. Finally, have the words "This Too Shall Pass" displayed somewhere you will see them daily. I was contemplating a tattoo on my forehead but your not always guaranteed to look in a mirror every day and if you happen to have the baby in your arms at the time you do look in the mirror you will not look at yourself. I can promise you that forever more, when your child is in that mirror, that's what you look at. Which is good because then you don't have to add panic about your caterpillar-esque eyebrows that are starting to blow in the wind to your list of things that need to be done! So may!be put them on the kettle or something

So I am now sitting happily in my front room, delighted that we made it through the first year, marveling at how quick that year was and, as I finish my glass of vino, panicking slightly that when I wake up in the morning she will be sixteen and looking for a belly button ring...

Everybody needs good neighbours - Can I have yours?

I think I may need to drop a copy of the theme tune to Neighbours in next door... I am beginning to immensely dislike them.

Next door there is a mother and two teenager girls. Last summer there was nothing but hassle. My front door was egged, my kitchen window was egged and my car was egged all by their hormone raging, bum fluff growing mates that roamed in and out of the house all summer. They spend most of their time screaming and banging. I swear to God, I hope no one ever breaks in and they scream for help because we will literally just think its their usual nightly behaviour. Their screaming and shouting and banging and, what I can only assume from the sound of it, furniture rearranging at some unearthly hour of the night is so loud that it is picked up by the baby monitor.

There are nights I have gone and checked on Holly before bed only to realise that they are so loud they might as well be standing over her cot shouting at her.

Thankfully, she is a child that could sleep through the apocalypse, a trait she inherited in equal parts from her mother and father. But every now and then the noise levels are so high that the poor child wakes up thinking the world is coming to an end in a blaze of teenage angst.

Last night I lost it. They were partaking in their usual 1am furniture shuffle and shout and it woke me and the baby. I hit the roof. I flew from my warm cozy bed and down the stairs, out the door and hammered on their door like a crazed banshee with homeless hair.

Teenagers are rude. I don't ever remember being rude like this. Not even slightly afraid of this sleep disturbed woman standing in front of them. I mean, not that I like to admit it and if they said it to me I would vehemently defend myself, but to them I am old and should, therefore, be feared. But they didn't care. Not one bit.

So I fumed back to bed vowing to make all the noise in the world today to disturb their sleeps. Little witches...

I am currently looking at houses. There are very specific requirements;

In the middle of no where
No neighbours
A fireplace that works
A moate to ensure no neighbours can be built in the vicinity of my new house

The Preggos Hobby

So, as I have mentioned previously, I decided to take up knitting and crotcheting to keep me entertained and sitting still while I am cooking this Bambino.  My transition from trendy party girl to the youngest Nana Mc was completed today as I say crotcheting while drinking warm milk and honey and cinnamon. Yes people, it's official! I have turned into a granny!!! 

Anyway! I thought I would share some of my creations...

Can you see my swollen sausage toes?? Truly delightful!!!

This will be lovely for Easter.. Again,check out my sausage toes!

A hat to keep his / her head warm after the big push

Finally, this is to be used when Liverpool are playing! Hopefully the baby will be wrapped in this on Sunday to watch the Pool win! And also, one final glimpse at those tasty sausage toes!

Aren't I quiet the talent. If you have a baby in your life that you would like to wrap in wool, please let me know and I can whip you up a blanket, in the colour of your choice, in a jiffy! Just giver a cup of warm milk and honey and your golden!!! Thankfully, the Nana in me is still resisting the urge to go to bingo, so maybe all hope is not lost!!!!

I'm off now to feed the bump - I've a hankering for a sausage sandwich... Should put some socks on, it'll stop me thinking of Superquinn sausages!

Week 38 and I am impatient...

We are now at week 38. Two more weeks officially left. But, then again, I could also have four more weeks if this Baba is refusing to be cooperative!

Mother Nature is really fantastic! Let me take you back about 20 weeks... Back to a time when I could reach my feet to put my socks on, easily get off the couch and  never had to worry about heartburn.

Back then, my bestie was preparing for the big L. It was nearing her time and she had come through the "fear of it" stage and was now happily sitting in the "it has to come out so feck it" stage. I naively thought that I was also at that stage.

I am the kind of person that likes to know exactly what's coming down the track. When I got pregnant, I bought my What to Expect When Expecting book, downloaded all the apps and spent many a happy hour reading all the fascinating things that I was going to experience. (There's very little in these various materials that warn you of the need for a winch to get off the couch or that your shoes are probably not going to fit you!) Being of the opinion that knowledge is power, I decided that I was ready to find out what to expect when L Day arrives! 

I couldn't have been more wrong! I was not ready to know. Himself arrived up to the room to check on me only to find me lying in the bed hyperventilating with my book open on a page that described how to deliver the baby yourself in the event of an emergency and pictures of the various positions a woman can give birth in. I was having a feckin panic attack! Who knew that there were "options" for giving birth? I most certainly didn't! Himself took the book from me and we made a joint decision that, from that day forward I would employ a less is more approach. The less I knew the better and I'll just go into L Day blind! 

The reason I think Mother Nature is amazing? Well, here I am at 38 weeks pregnant and I can hand on heart say I have arrived at the "it has to come out so feck it" stage. I am no longer hyperventilating and if they tell me to stand on my head in order to get this baby out, so be it - although i do realise that standing on my head would be counter productive, gravity is apparently a great help during the Big Push.

So here I sit, bouncing on my pregnancy ball for the millionth time since 530am today, sipping on my second cup of raspberry leaf tea and googling ways to bring on labour in the hopes that it will prevent me being overdue! By the way, I wasn't up at 530am for any reason. I was just awake, uncomfortable and couldn't get back to sleep! So I spent nearly 4 hours crotcheting while waiting for Himself to wake up. And yes, I said crotcheting. Apparently, pregnancy has turned this wild boozey lady into a granny....

All prayers, lit candles, spells, voodoo and tips to bring this baby out into the world are greatly accepted and appreciated. Unless you tell me to be patient. In which case, feck off!

Things I am most looking forward to after Labour Day

With so much time on my hands, and nothing to do but knit, I have been thinking of all the things I am looking forward to once Labour Day is over..

Obviously the number one thing, and most important, is meeting our little one and finally getting to know if it's a she or a he and all the happiness that goes with it!

But, I am talking about other things. Pre pregnancy enjoyment that was taken for granted. 

So I have decided to list them..

10. Ability to move with speed

Granted, me and speed have never exactly been on the best of terms, but my current pace is ridiculous. It doesn't matter what I am doing, whether it's "walking" (I use that word lightly), moving from a sitting to a standing position or vice versa or trying to turn over from my left side to my right side during the night, it's all being done super slow and I can't wait until the baby is born and I don't even have to think about these movements! I'll be like Flash Gordon zooming around the place!

9. Bending down

Ah bending down. I have the fondest memories of being able to pick up something I dropped. These days if I drop something and I am alone, it stays there until someone comes along. Doesn't matter if it's a utensil, clothes or food. I'm not getting down there and getting back up. It's one or the other. And if I do happen to take my chances and bend to get whatever the dropped item is, I make this weird noise. It's a cross between a grunt and a sigh. It'll be nice to not make that noise.

8. My toes

My little piggies! And they look like little piggies right now. When I stretch out, I can see these pudgy little stumps that no longer resemble the dainty little hoofs I once owned! My size 4 shoes don't fit me any more and there is the last pathetic scraping of nail varnish applied a number of months ago that I can neither reach to remove or refresh! I look forward to being able to stand up and look down and see my feet.

7. No longer having heartburn

I am excited to eat a tomato and not have to chase it with a bottle of gaviscon!  And also excited to no longer have to carry around a litre bottle of the stuff like some bizzare indigestion treatment addict!

6. Being able to take any pain killer that is not Panadol 

I do realise that this is not exactly something to be looking forward to. Please don't miss understand my excitement for this as an admission to having an over fondness for pain killers. It will just be nice to be able to take something that works if I should require it!

5. Clothes 

I have some really lovely maternity wear. New Look has been a life saver throughout my pregnancy and a lot of the clothes are lovely and comfortable. But, I cannot wait to put on a pair of jeans that are not elasticated at the top and have actual working buttons that you use to keep them up! 

4. High heels

Sky high! I want to wear sky high high heels again. I want to totter around on them and have aching feet at the end of the night!

3. Sleep on my back

Oh that first night sleeping on my back! I cannot wait for it! It will be amazing. Right now if I do happen to roll on to my back, one of two things happens; the baby goes mental kicking and moving. I am thinking it doesn't like where it goes when I lie on my back, or, I dream I am suffocating because, well I am suffocating! I can't breath and wake up gasping for breath... Maybe that's why the baby goes crazy... 

2. Exercise

Believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to getting into a shape that doesn't require elasticated clothing! I can't wait to go back to my weight watchers class and start walking / running / feeling the burn!

1. Booze

I realise that this is not going to win me any Mum of the Year awards. But I don't care... At 36 and half weeks I can honestly say I am dreaming of having a pint of Corrs light! I can taste it as I think of it! I cannot wait for a night out where I get all dolled up and totter on my heels and have a pint of Corrs and glass of wine and a bottle of Corona... And then get poured into a taxi because my tolerance for alcohol has decreased so much that three drinks equals home time!

So these are all the things that I am looking forward to and are keeping me going in these last few weeks! But mostly it's knowing that we get to finally meet this little one after so many months of imaging what he / she will be and what he/she will look like! 

See, I'm not all bad!

Week 35 nearly done

The finishing line is in sight!  There are 4 weeks and 2 days left and I am counting them down!!!

My knitting project is going well... I have actually completed my first ever blanket. It's not a very big one, but I made it and I am delighted! I even crocheted the edges of the blanket too... T'internet is amazing. You can literally learn anything on it!! Here is the completed product. I am now currently trying to crotchet a hat.. it's not going well.

So as I approach the end and my belly is getting bigger and bigger I decided that I would help the general public in dealing with the pregnant ladies by putting together 5 things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman...

Here goes:

5. Was it planned? How long were you trying

What on earth do you want to know that for? You have  basically just asked me if I was having sex and, if so, how long was I having sex for.  It is the equivalent of me saying to you, Did you have sex this week? Was it any use? No normal person would ask that question so it is beyond me why someone would ask it to a pregnant lady. Especially one they barely know / just met in the supermarket.

4. Your in for a big shock / going to have your hands full

Whether your a first time mum or this is baby number 2 / 3 / 20, this is such an annoying thing to have said. I am a first time mum. I am aware that things are going to change. I am not an idiot. I know that my sleep is going to be disrupted and that the freedom I have been accustomed too for the last 31 years is about to be replaced by having to think of someone else.  But, I didn't make it to the grand age of 31 without getting pregnant, by accident.  I know a baby changes things, that's why I've spent the last number of years living it up, enjoying myself, hungover, going on holidays and doing all the things I want to do.  Now that I am about to be a mum, I have made the decision to make those changes so I think I should be OK with the shock, but just in case I do go into shock, why don't you make yourself useful and bring me some medicinal brandy...

3. Labour horror stories

I really don't understand why women feel the need to frighten the be-jaysus out of pregnant women with their labour horror stories.  Since I got pregnant I have had people tell me some humdingers.  There was this one woman and every time I saw her she had a horrible story to tell me.  It actually got to the point that I told her from now on, when she sees me, unless she has something nice to say to me, she's to say nothing to me at all.  I don't want to hear about how her organs were being shifted about the place during her C Section (like what? Did they go in through her mouth or something?) Or how I could end up having the baby in the car on the way to the hospital - I live 30 mins from it, I think I'm safe! People shoudl keep their war stories to themselves until the mum has a story of her own to share!

2. Your huge / other weight gain related comments

As the  grower of this human, I am perfectly aware of my expanding body parts. There is no reason for you to draw extra attention to this.  Some of the most body confident of women struggle with their changing shape during pregnancy. I, not being one of the most body confident of women, have definitely struggled. I am aware it is all in the name of growing this little person, but I still don't need comments from people about the size of me. I am aware, sure aren't I the one that takes 5 minutes to get off the couch these days! Just standing up is a work out in itself!

1. Are you sure there's only one in there

I think that, given the advancement of technology and experience of the medical team I have seen every four weeks for the last 35 weeks, its safe to say that yes, there is only one in there.  Instances of surprise multiple births have fallen dramatically in recent years. So if I haven't announced to you that I am having twins / triplets / quintuplets at this stage, you are telling me that I look like I am having more than one. See number 2 above.

Now, if you are interested in gaining brownie points and kisses from the pregnant woman in your life, here are 3 things you should definitely say:

3. Your glowing

Even if its only a glow from the sheen of sweat on her upper lip, caused by her trying to get up the stairs, say it and she'll love you forever. .

2. Pregnancy suits you

This is a lovely thing to say. Telling a pregnant woman it suits her and she carries it well will give her a pep in her step that will get her through the day. As I said, the most body confident of women struggle at some point or other with their changing shape during pregnancy. Growing a whole human is hard work. Compliments like these are so lovely to receive, damn sight nicer than 'are you sure there's only one in there'

1. From the back you wouldn't even know you were pregnant

Say this to a pregnant lady and you will be showered with kisses and hugs for the day.Sweeter words have never been uttered than these 10 words!

Why not find yourself a preggo today and try it out on her!!!

Keeping myself Busy

Ah pregnancy... The joys of creating life, caution! Beware of unspoken side effects..

As I previously mentioned, pregnancy has been a revelation to me, as I am sure it has been to every other mum out there. I think pregnant women fall in to two categories, those that love and revel in all the wonders of the experience and those that don't! I fall into the latter category. Which came as a surprise! I was only dying to get pregnant after we got married so I expected that I would love it all! Shout it from the roof tops. Proudly display my growing bump and offer it to all to have a little rub of. 

I don't feel that way at all!

Before I go any further, let me just say that while I haven't loved pregnancy, I am very happy and very excited about what comes at the end of it. No, not the huffing, panting and, if I am to believe some people, window shattering screaming, but the little baby! To me, it's a means to an end and well worth experiencing!

What I found most peculiar is that it really does all seem to be a conspiracy. I think that at the end of the pregnancy, before they hand me over my little baby, "they" will make me sign a non-disclosure agreement forcing me to keep all things undesirable a secret from other women...

What secrets am I speaking of? Well, at the moment I have been signed off work for the remainder of the pregnancy because I have a condition called SPD. It is basically a softening of the pelvis which makes walking, climbing the stairs, sitting down, standing up, rolling over in bed very difficult and sometimes a little on the painful side. And by painful I mean there have been nights, as I try to roll my sizeable self from left to right, that I have been fairly sure my pelvis is about to split in two! By Jaysus does it hurt! But then other days it's grand and I can waddle about with minimal pain but lots of discomfort! 

So, taking into account my poor movement, I have been trying to find ways to stop myself loosing my mind.  The weight watcher in me was less than pleased that I had taken a liking to baking. And I was getting good at it too - too good if I am honest! Every evening himself came home to something new... Red velvet cup cakes, chocolate brownies, ginger biscuits, lemon Drizzel cake - which was so lemony and delicious that it made your cheeks squeak!! And loaves and loaves of bread.

Alas, himself had to sit me down and plead with me to cease and desist with the baking! I reasoned that as he was partly to blame for my current shapely shape, he too should also gain a little tummy so as to make me look small and dainty... He didn't bite! So I took on board what he said and decided it was in everyone's best interests to find another hobby. And also, all the standing was flippin killing me hips!

So I have found my new hobby! 

I have started knitting! I have my supplies and I am attempting a baby blanket.

Here is how it is going so far...

Casting on my stitches

And we're off

I shall keep you posted on my progress!

Where oh where have I been?

It's been a very very long time since the last time I blogged an entry! I realise this weight watching wife has all but fallen off the face of the earth! But, in my defence, I have a very good reason for my MIA status!

I am still a weight watching wife, I am just watching my weight go in the upward direction instead of the downward direction! The tummy on me these days is out of control! But then, it is also currently being called home by Baby Mc! Yes, for those of you that do not know, I am pregnant. Very pregnant! I am currently 8 months and counting - 34 weeks to those of you the have experienced pregnancy and count by the weeks! 

I have about 6 weeks officially left in this, assuming that my little one is as punctual as his/her mother that is! If he / she has their fathers genes, well, let's just say we could be still waiting for a grand entrance in 8 weeks time!!!

So, for those of you that read my blog, you may be able to do the math and realise that this little bundle of joy of ours is due to make his/her entrance on the 5 April 2014. This date is also the date of my first wedding anniversary! So myself and himself were very organised after the wedding!!! 

Pregnancy has been an interesting time! I have been truly blessed with a relatively plain straightforward pregnancy! No morning sickness, but plenty of queasiness in the early days! Even now, 34 weeks in, the sight of scrambled eggs can turn my cheeks green! I've had the odd dose of heartburn - an indication that I will give birth to a head that is full of hair, or so I am told!

One of the things that surprised me the most about pregnancy has been my ability to retreat into my own little bubble. I have deleted my facebook account, stopped blogging and become less and less sociable. It is most unlike me! Most people are very surprised at my deleted Facebook account and expected me to go straight back on it. If I am honest, I sort of thought I would too, so I never made an "announcement" of my intention to delete the account in case I only lasted a day! I feel such an announcement is similar to a kid announcing it's running away from home - it'll never last and it's only for attention!

The reason I've decided to come back to blogging is that I have about 6 / 7 weeks left, which means in about 12 weeks time I can return to my weight watchers class and get back on the horse - so to speak!

I expected to use pregnancy as a licence to eat rings round myself. And there have been days that I have done that! But I have been relatively well restrained! Which will hopefully make my return to my pre-pregnancy jeans a quick and easy task!!!

Thought for the Day

Thought for Today

I need to remember this. ..