Saturday, 12 July 2014

13 Weeks, Grabbing Stuff and a Happy Mama

My little Holly Dolly is 13 weeks and 1 day old! My how time flies eh? She's in great form and its just brilliant being at home with her. She spent a couple of days last weekend in Donegal with her Nana and Grandad and her Aunty Orla and Uncle Joe. Got feckin ruined! Sure she was only chuffed with all those different faces to be chatting to her and dumping oodles of attention on her! She's less than impressed that she's stuck at home with me now...

But enough about her, and more about me and why I am so happy!

A week after we came home from hospital, I made the mistake of thinking that I had returned to my pre-pregnancy shape. I made that mistake because I could see my toes and I was awash with hormones that caused my body dismorphia to resurface.  My body dismprohia is something I have touched on previously, but for those who don't know, Dr Google diagnosed me with body dismorphia. Unlike those who look in the mirror and see an overweight person, thus fueling their need to strive to be thinner, I look in the mirror and think that I am super skinny, try on skinny clothes and realise that I am, in fact, not a size 10, and therefore fuel my depression.  I forget that I do this and repeat the cycle every couple of weeks.

Anyway, as I said, I made the mistake of thinking that I was all skinny minnie and I took out my pre-pregnancy jeans to put on.  My pre-pregnancy jeans proceeded to have an almighty row with my post pregnancy thighs and hips. It turned into a wrestling match, my thighs and hips ganged up on the jeans, and lets just say, the jeans came out worse for wear... as did my self esteem...

So every week since that first week I try on the jeans, my hips and thighs get argey bargey, my jeans and my ego loose the fight. Every week, that is, until this week. Oh yeah! I was going to a first birthday party. Yes, I am aware that my party lifestyle is out of control! Anyway, was getting ready and, quiet frankly, I am sick of wearing the same two pairs of jeans over and over. So I decided it was time to have my weekly thigh / hip / jean battle. But this week the first pair I tried on went over the thighs and hips with minimum struggle, and they actually buttoned. Looking in the mirror, that age old advice of "just because it zips, doesn't mean it fits" came to mind. But I proceeded to try on another pair. Again, not for public viewing. But the third pair I tried on slid easily over my thighs and hips and zipped with no effort and actually fit me.

Joy of joys my friends. I am finally wearing a pair of jeans that have functioning buttons and zips. It's only taken 13 weeks, but I am delighted with myself. Slowly but surely my old wardrobe is being opened to me!

I wonder what fashion related battle I will win next week!