Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Days like today make me long for a Nanny

When I have a day like today which, to be fair, isn't often, I fantasise about winning the lotto so I can hire a full time nanny. I know, my lotto spending fantasies need some serious upgrading, but you didn't have to deal with what I dealt with today!  

My beautiful, angel baby was like a feckin bear with a sore head all day. Why? She attempted to fight her morning nap. This nap is a sacred nap. It's the one that lets me get things done, like food for her, feckin food for me! I get things cleaned, me cleaned! I get a cup of tea that I can drink from start to finish. It's the only cup of tea that doesn't end up a cold greyish white liquid forgotten on the table. I even have The Nap Tea in a favourite mug.  

So when she resisted the nap, I resisted her resistance. She was almost settled when the shrill clanging sound of my door bell slices through the silence of my house. This sound is swiftly followed by the sound of a ten month old that's just had the holy bejaysis frightened out of her.  The bloody postman was standing on the doorstep, slightly taken aback by my aggressive swinging open of the door and stern "for fecksake you woke the baby" look. The inconsiderate fecker was delivering an item I had ordered (que stern glare being replaced by "yay! A parcel" look)

Anyway, not that he gave a crap, but the little messer wouldn't go to sleep then. Not only for this mornings nap, but also wouldn't sleep for her afternoon nap either. All around me were the jobs I had planned on doing not getting done. The only thing I did manage to do was disconnect the bell so there will never be a repeat of this mornings shenanigans ever ever again!  I thought I was going to loose my mind. And to make it worse, her refusal to sleep in the afternoon was accompanied by a sudden and persistent need to be on me. Not beside me, not near me, but on me.  Happiness only  showed itself when she was sitting on my chest sticking her fingers in my eyes and mouth. Although, she did keep blowing me kisses which sort of kept me from putting her up on eBay.... 

So with all this lack of sleep, she should have been a bag of cats by the time Himself got home, right?  Wrong! I was never more happy to see that car come around the corner! We were standing at the window and I was jumping for joy! And all of a sudden, like a switch had been flipped, my grumpy, surly, whingey baby was replaced with this happy, smiling, giggling pet that was only delighted with life... 

I have discovered that children, no matter what the age, can make you look a right little fibber! Himself was confused! Jaysis, he says, you look like crap! She looks in great form. To which I replied, go and... Well, you can put in whatever ending you want to that particular sentence. 

Suffice to say I'm raging we don't have a stash of alcohol in the house. If we did, I'd be baloobous drunk right now trying to see the letters with one eye open! 

Roll on Saturday night when I get to have a girlie night out!!!