Friday, 13 June 2014

9 weeks old and it's Weigh Day tomorrow

My Holly Dolly is 9 weeks old today. And after 9 weeks, I have been diagnosed with motherhood induced schizophrenia! Not officially, of course, this is a self diagnosis kindly assisted by the trusted and always right, Dr. Google and confirmed by the following someecard

This is a strange phenomenon which has only begun occurring since my Dolly arrived! I can literally hear her crying whenever I do something noisy, like boil the kettle. Granted, it's a loud kettle and I think it is the reason she ALWAYS knows I am about to have a cuppa, but I swear I can hear her.. I run to her aid, loving mama that I am saying "sssssh baba, here's your mama now" only to find her snoring her head off and leaving me looking like a feckin lunatic!

Today is the first day that I had a shower with just myself and herself in the house. I would like to point out that I not one of the great unwashed, I have had many showers and baths in the last 9 weeks, there's just always been Himself in the house to keep an eye on the newborn that can't roll, control her hand movements or escape the house without being lifted... But all the same, these newborns are tricky little divils....

So anyway, as I was saying, having the shower. She's snoozing away In the room next to the bathroom, I have the monitor with the motion sensors AND noise sensors right where I can see it, and then it happens. I can hear her crying. But wait, the monitor isn't picking it up. It's in my head. Continue showering! No, wait! Definetly hear her. Is top of the range monitor, that works perfectly everywhere else, no longer working? I turn off shower and freeze. Holding my breath in case my breathing prevents me from hearing her cries - forgetting of course that when she cries you can hear her in Donegal she's got such a set of lungs on her!!! In the silence of the bathroom I realise that it's all in my head. Continue showering. Forget that the feckin thermostat on our feckin shower is fecked so that when you turn off the shower and turn it back on straight away boiling water shoots from the peeling the skin off your bones... 

Then I freeze, I can hear her crying... Repeat until shower is over!

Needless to say, one of these days she will be crying and I will ignore her because I will think it's all in my head and then she'll be scared for life and cost me a flippin fortune in counselling fees...

It's weigh day tomorrow. I absolutely chickened out of going Wednesday! But tried to claw back some of my ability to loose a pound. I did well. Even went on a picnic. Planned the contents of the picnic to the letter. Bottle of milk for the Dolly, herby Cous Cous with prawns and a mango salsa. Delicious! Got up on Thursday. Made the deliciousness. Packed it up. Realised I was 4 hours to early. Made a chocolate cake with chocolate butter icing. Ate a taster slice. Brought a slice for the picnic. Ruined my healthy picnic! 

And I wouldn't mind! It's not like I went into a shop and was bombarded with cakes and such to purchase. I could understand a slip in willpower then. But I actively went and made a cake - from flippin scratch! It didn't even exist before I decided to make it! I actually created an obstacle for myself! I assembled it and watched it rise in the oven.. That's not a slip in willpower... That's an almighty buckling of it with a dollop of self sabotage for good measure! Feck sake! Learning to bake was the worst thing I ever did! All grand when your growing a baby and people tell you your glowing or that pregnancy suits you... Don't want someone saying that to me now, do I?

So I shall face the soul crusher in the morning and resolve to do better next week, and dispose of all baking equipment and ingredients...

Still though, it was a tasty cake!

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